Who’s vein doth not shrink
Berated by, feel this, one
I used to be a professional Rock-Paper-Scissors player. Truth. I know, you’re like, “Whatever, that doesn’t exist,” but it’s true. They paid me to play Rock-Paper-Scissors at this nerd camp I worked at.
I was really good until this one kid was like, “Ha ha, I figured out your rhythm: you always do scissors second!” And I was like, “Ha ha, you’re 12 and you just told me your edge. Eat Rock!”
I worked at two different nerd camps. I will tell you about those another time because they are full of sweet, sweet geekery and uncomfortable, personal moments that are best broadcast to the entire internet. Woot! (*Did you know that’s short for, “Wow, loot!” in Nerd? Aw, yeah.)
In the meantime, just enjoy this picture of the next best thing in Rock-Paper-Scissors:
COWBOY. BEAR. NINJA!
Remember: Finger Gun, Claw Hands, Kung Fu Hands
Also: don’t always do Kung Fu second.